"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. " - Steve Jobs
I read about Steve Jobs' commencement address to Stanford University circa 2005 and these famous excerpt paved the way to this piece that I wrote in November 2008. This blog feature is my humble tribute to the genius of the modern world.
Connect the Dots
I always believed that events in our life happen for a reason; that there are no mere coincidences. There are pre-woven patterns of destiny. We may not be able to discern what they mean or where it will probably lead us but the fact is, the ground work for our future has been laid out already. Sometimes it takes wisdom and insight to recognize these patterns of destiny. And when we look back and trace the patterns, then it becomes clearer…
I was in my second year in college when I encountered a most critical turning point in my life. Economy was down and life was difficult. My parents were into a home-based business of making synthetic bags. It took a while before cheaper imported bags made its way to the local market scene but the mounting expenses of sending four children to school took its toll. I left the university and worked fulltime as a service crew in a fast food chain. I also worked until I graduated from college.
I was seventeen then and have always lived a sheltered life before these events took place. I never had time or money for excesses, never experienced the typical goings-on in the busy life of a teenager and I was pretty content that way. I grew up to be frugal because while we were considered lucky to be brought up in a decent home, there never was much room for any other luxury in life.
Working an eight-hour shift made me very conscious of spending my hard earned money. I brought packed lunch or dinner to work so I didn’t have to spend any more than my jeepney rides and I walk the kilometer stretch of inland road from the jeepney stop to our compound. During paydays, I will buy munchkins and ask my sister to sell them to her classmates in Angono (this was at a time when none of the fast food chains exist in the suburban areas of Rizal; as a commission, I gave her extra munchkins for snack). I saved most of my earnings whereas most out-of-school folks I met just lived by the day, spending their money on movies, out-of-town gimiks and the likes. I probably missed out a bit on life, but I was truly never sorry about it. I turned to writing most of the time. I have never forgotten my goal in life as well which is to finish my degree. I saved enough to return to college after a year and continued finding means to help myself on college expenses. My experiences outside of the university taught me life-lessons that I have otherwise, would never have known, had I not dropped out of school, flexed my working muscles and learned early on the value of living within my means.
Until now, 17 years later, I am as much as who I was back then. I embraced the principle of living within one's means. People may think that we are financially abundant. But simply, we were just blessed enough. The truth is, my husband and I have never forgotten our roots and the lessons life taught us and we aspired to live a simple life.
After my one year off college, prior to returning to my Alma Mater, my parents persuaded me to transfer to a less expensive university where I will be able to commute to and from school and save the board and logding expenses in Manila. The prospect does not exactly set me afire with positive expectation but at that time, it was better than not being able to complete any education. So I went there and obtained the requirements needed for enrollment. But as it turned out, the classes for ChE starts and ends way too late. The idea of having to go home so late is not advisable for young women those days (I had to walk through a dark, tree-covered strip of dirt road if I happen to arrive late at night). So we scrapped the idea and decided that I will just wait for another six months and go back to UST.
When I enrolled back to UST a year later, my batch mates were already in their 3rd year. While we remained good friends, I had to find my own place under the sun all over again, meet new folks to hang out with and the likes. Since nobody knew me, I felt I had to prove myself a little bit more.
I attempted to join the Thomasian Engineer journal in my first year in UST. But I had a long exam on the same day when they were holding the qualifying exams for new writers so I missed the chance and regretted it. In that year when I returned to the university, I vowed that I won’t let the chance pass me by again. Since my daily commute was a 3-hour route those days due to road constructions, I was running late and only had one hour to finish the 3-hour exam for writers. Those were probably the fastest articles I ever came up with in my entire life, having to crank out 4 different original articles (from a selection given in the exam) in an hour! I passed the qualifications, became a staff writer, rose to section editor after 2 semesters, became the senior editor up until I took the helm as EIC in my final year.
Looking back, I was driven internally by a rejection for failure -- this would not have come with such sense of urgency for me, had I just lived my usual college life and if it were not for the fact that I once felt a sense of failure because I had to skip school. This did not occur to me at that time. I was too busy struggling to survive a decent life then. But it made sense now.
On my 3rd year in engineering, I intended to fully enroll for the morning class so that I have time in the afternoon for my staff writer duties. During registration, there has been some confusion on my records because I had a year out of school. It took me hours to sort it out with the Registrar and when I finally went to get my schedule, the morning class is already full! I reluctantly took the mid-morning class. Mostly with people I have not met.
In our first week, I met Alvin. He came from the afternoon class so I have never really known him from the year before. He came from a different circle of friends. He courted me after 1 ½ months and we became BF-GF after 3 months. We continued to be together throughout college and long after. We were married in 1999.
If you think about it, if I had not dropped out of school, took a year off and returned, had my records messed up due to my absence and ended up in the afternoon class which I didn’t like, we would have never met because I would absolutely not take an afternoon class ever! We would likely not end up together and would never have Kevin and Kyla this day!
Again looking back, Alvin and I were clearly destined to be together and much more. We were meant to fulfill a special mission for the lives of angels sent on earth. I believe that much.
And yes, Steve Jobs was right. You can only connect the dots looking backwards. You have to trust that there is purpose behind why events happen (or does not happen) in our life. You will know in time. In His time.
And you have to be ready to listen. Follow. Trust.
