Letter for Kevin (Published in PhilStar)

For our beloved Kevin,

We love you.

There were so many things we wanted to tell you, as we watch you fast asleep at night, listen to the sound of your breathing and wish that you the sweetest of dreams. A few minutes ago we said your good night prayer—a simple sign of the cross. A ritual that meant so much for me since the first time I watched you silently pause and offered your sign of the cross to Jesus on your own as your gesture of prayer. Watching you pray ends my otherwise stressful day with a feeling of peace.

There were so many things we wanted to tell you—although our conversations are rather a meeting of hearts and not of the minds. We longed to tell you of our simple dream, that you will someday let us into your world, into your mind. We wished to know why do you like the feel of grass blades? Or why do you like the smell of your old pillows? Are you hurt? Are you sad? What made you very happy today? I wish we knew but we can only guess my dear boy… and hope that our hearts will hear your voice.

We longed to tell you that you have been our source of joy and inspiration during the many trying times that had marked our lives. You made us realize what matters most in life is the joy of living each day to the fullest with the people close to your heart. The simple joy from mere togetherness. You have made mommy and daddy better persons through the humble life you live. There was just too much to say little boy, and we fervently pray that we will someday hear your voice.

You are God’s Special Child, dear Kevin. You are His gift to mom and dad, to sister Kyla, and to all the people whose lives you have touched – through the music of your laughter, your heartfelt hugs, your soulful gaze when you turn to look at me when I’m sad, as if to say “don’t worry, Kevin is here!”.

We will be here for you son. Together we shall face this life that God has given you. We will dream dreams, of His paradise, knowing in my heart that someday you will be in His paradise, where you will enjoy what the earthly life has taken away from you. We will dream these dreams, for as long as it takes. For whatever it takes.

As an old song goes…
“You and I will travel far together.
We’ll pursue our little star together.
We’ll be happy as we are together…
You and I are going on together
Until the time we have is gone forever.”

There were so many things we wanted to tell you. You may not be able to read this, little one. But someday, know in your heart that you were loved by everyone who knew you.

There were so many things we wanted to tell you. But in the end, only three words matter. Because we know, that in your heart, it is enough. It is everything.

We love you.

Daddy and Mommy


postscript: This letter also won 1st place in the Phil Star Parenting Monthly Letter Writing Contest. Kevin is an inspiration for many great things in my life!