Of Clouds and Silver Linings

Foreword: This is the transcript of the speech given on the occasion of Optimal Academy's 2017 Commencement and Completion Exercises where our son Kevin was conferred as a graduate.

Speaking in public in not always easy, more so when it is about a topic that is so close to my heart and triggers memories that is sure to make me emotional.  In the process of writing the speech, I edited and rewrote it several times. I had to remind myself that this is not about me.  

This is in honor of a son who, every single day, had to struggle fitting in into a world that doesn't make sense to him. This is the story of his journey and the Divinely Orchestrated coincidences that steered us to paths we have taken as a family.

*****

Good afternoon to all! It is an honor to share with you the highlights of Kevin's journey leading to this blessed day.  

Let me tell you a bit about myself and our family.  I am a Chemical engineer and I work as the Supply Chain/Operations Manager in a multinational corporation.  My children grew up with my workplace as a constant, significant part of their lives.  In fact, the people I work with know Kevin and Kyla very well.   But, end of the day I am simply “Mommy Armie” to Kevin and Kyla, and the better half of whom all of you know so well as Daddy Alvin.   

Kyla is our younger daughter and she grew up taking over the role of an elder sister for Kevin.  You will see her in Optimal Academy whenever she doesn’t have classes and she likes helping around.  She promised that she will continue to take care of Kevin when her father and I grow old, and while we cannot beholden her to that promise, I of course silently pray that she will continue to be the loving sister for Kevin, wherever life takes her.

Today is a very meaningful day for Kevin.   This day is the culmination of those colorful, sometimes difficult but surprisingly wonderful journeys that he had to take in his life.

11 years ago, it was Kyla’s moving up day in toddler school.  When the preparatory class entered for the graduation march, I stood there watching and I couldn’t hold back the tears.  I kept thinking that our son, Kevin, should have been there with them and we didn’t know if the time will ever come for him to march in his own graduation. 

Kevin attended Early Intervention program for nearly 3 years, and one day we were told by the Developmental Pediatrician that Kevin’s chance of being able to talk and join regular school will be very slim-- that we should consider just having him stay at home and use picture exchange communication system (PECS), and instead save the huge expenses for speech therapies and SPED.  We still followed the doctor and adopted PECS for Kevin.  But we also continued with the therapies even though it was evident that Kevin did not like it.  More importantly, it forced us to evaluate what does he need, what is most impactful to his development and where do you find that help?

The blessings came and our questions were answered.   Kevin was accepted into Kyla’s pre-school class three times weekly for socialization, music, art and PE class.  He was the oldest and tallest kid there.  Kyla’s classmates adore him, took care of him and they all call him Kuya Kevin too.  This created a world of difference to Kevin -- he enjoyed going to school, he gladly performed in the school programs, which he used to not like.  He learned from the school kids by imitating proper social behaviors.

In 2010, Kevin marched for his first graduation day in pre-school.  Everyone applauded for him when he went on stage to receive his award.  They all knew, he had come a long way.  Indeed, when a door closes, a window opens.  You have to also trust what your child really, truly needs.  Kevin taught us that being in a community where he is loved, accepted and where he can be happy is a powerful life-changer.

While these were all happening for Kevin, my husband and I had to make a very important decision.  My husband Alvin left his career at San Miguel Corporation and dedicated his time to be with Kevin.  It was a tough call but in the end, we both understood that it was over and beyond our individual aspirations in life.  I cannot forget what he told me, he said, “I can live with letting go of a career and what-might-have-been, but I cannot live with not doing everything that I can to help Kevin.”

Through Alvin, we learned to understand Kevin better- like why he acts or responds a certain way.  Alvin followed through at home the programs from school.   Kevin’s focus and attention span improved!   Alvin continued to provide significant inputs in shaping up Kevin’s learning program over the years.

Looking back, I strongly believe that the events in our life were part of divinely orchestrated coincidences.  In late 2010, our family moved to Singapore because of my job.  By that time, Kevin was more prepared to live outside of the Philippines because of the improvements in his adaptation.  Kevin took up Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) and after exactly seven days, one morning Kevin surprised us because he was able to finally communicate with us verbally!  Since then, he began to express his needs and say simple phrases… “I want to eat”, “I want to sleep”, “I want toilet”.  This validated my belief that our relocation to Singapore happened for a special reason.  

We came back to Philippines in 2013.  Kevin was already in his teens and it felt like starting all over again.  One afternoon, we visited Teacher Weng of Trails Center.  While waiting for her, I saw this yellow brochure of a SPED school.  Alvin and I thought that this seem to match what Kevin needed.  So we went there—to Optimal Academy (author's note: this is Kevin's current DepEd accredited school for special education).   Initially we were hoping that he will be able to say the ABCs but after a few months, Kevin learned to read, learned to use the laptop and copy-type and he expanded his vocabulary.  The rest as they say is history.

Now that Kevin had become a young man, we are again, in a new learning curve.  We have learned to see his individuality, understand his changing moods.  We learned when to impose authority and when to back off and just let him be. 

Kevin gave us the inspiration to never give up and that in this world, our love and acceptance is all that mattered.  We are grateful to the Lord who gave us the strength to push on, to always look forward to better days.  For giving us Kevin and Kyla, who made us better persons.

We are also thankful for the Angels around us- the teachers and educators, who have selflessly given Kevin their patience and encouragement in ways that made his life richer and meaningful.   They too, have given us hope to cling on to, during the days when the skies look overcast.

To end, I would like to share my favorite quote from a fellow parent-writer (Pinky Cuaycong) : “When the clouds are forever hiding the sun, you learn to squint your eyes and look hard for the silver lining.  And true enough, by God’s mercy, they are always there.”

From the bottom of my heart… congratulations to all of you, dear students and graduates --  PJ, Stefi and Kevin.  Congratulations to my fellow parents for reaching this wonderful milestone!   May God continue to bless us all!

Good day and thank you for listening!

The honor of giving Kevin his graduation medal belongs to his Dad.
This is his milestone too, in many ways.

Sunny Days (Alvin's Inspirational Speech from the 2014 Commencement Exercise of Optimal Academy)

After what seemed to be a long while, Kevin was blessed to have been a part of Special Education once more after we came back to Manila last year.  That we landed with Optimal Academy was not a mere happenstance, if I look back.  I was in a meeting with Kevin's speech therapist in another center when I saw the school's flyer propped at the desk. I took one and thought that this is what Kevin needed. We have been looking for a new school for him somewhere within south. Alvin and I decided to visit their school that week. And rest, is history.

In Optimal Academy's Commencement Exercise and Recognition Day for undergraduates, my husband Alvin had the privilege of giving an inspirational talk about a father and son's journey through life's challenges.  Known as "Daddy Alvin" at school, he is a mainstay at Optimal Academy.  All the students know him and in a way, he is sort of a father figure for them as well alongside Sir John (school President), especially for the teenage boys.

Alvin's speech brought tears to my eyes, remembering the poignant days when we were starting out as young parents for Kevin and Kyla.  But it also gave me an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness to the Lord, for giving me a better half who is truly our hero in every sense of the word.  

This is the transcript of his speech....

"Good afternoon to all!

Some of you already know me because I always go to Optimal Academy with my son Kevin.  Today, let me introduce myself a little bit more.

I am a Chemical Engineer by profession, and worked for years in San Miguel Corporation until Kevin was diagnosed with ASD with Apraxia when was nearly 3 years old.  My wife Armie, who is also a Chemical Engineer, is the one literally supporting our family right now.  So I would like to thank her for doing the job that I am supposed to do.  She once told me, that we all have roles in life... And this is my role.

Ten years ago, my wife and I decided that one of us should focus on attending to Kevin full-time, so that we can understand his needs better and help him in the process.  At first, it wasn't easy for me to accept the role that I am doing.  I felt ashamed of myself when some of my peers would ask me where I am working.  I am afraid that some of them will not understand me, especially those who don't know Kevin and his challenges.  Well it doesn't really matter, as long as I am getting the love and respect from my wife and my kids, it's fine with me.

Then, I learned about Stock Market Online.  That changed everything.  It's not much, but enough to bring back my self confidence and improve my skills.  So every day, Kevin and I go to Optimal Academy for him to study,  and for me to work (on my stocks) and assist him.  With God's help, we found the best set up for the two us.

Kevin has a sister, her name is Kyla.  Everyday, after coming from school, the first thing that Kyla would do is check Kevin's diary.  She also likes teaching Kevin at home.  Whenever she has no class, she always come with us in Optimal Academy to help Kevin and the other students too. One day she told us that she would like to be a teacher for special children and that she will open her own school someday.

Among the parents here, I would say I am lucky, to have the opportunity to see these children every day.  So please allow me share to you some of my observations in the school.

First, they are learning because they are happy.  Unlike most of us, we become happy only if we get the things we want in life.  But for these students, happiness comes first.  They go to school every day excited, because they know that they will have fun.  They like going to school, and they love the people in Optimal Academy.  I challenge you..., visit Optimal Academy and count the people that will greet you.  Some students will even hug you!  And then, go to other schools and see if you'll get the same. The feeling of being welcomed and accepted makes them ready to listen and learn.  So, make them happy and they will learn.  I remember the time when I taught Kevin how to use chopsticks.  He learned it in just one day simply because he likes to eat and he was happy.

The second point that I would like to share is, not every day is a Sunny Day... But I am sure, Sunny Days will always come.  There will be days with crying and resistance... and there will be days, they will surprise you on how fast they learn.

When Kevin was six years old, his Developmental Pediatrician told us that Kevin will never talk... that we can already stop his Speech therapy, and start teaching him PECS (Picture-Exchange Communication System).  It was hard to accept, but we followed the doctor's recommendation.  We introduced PECS to him.  However, we did not stop his Speech therapy.  In short, we did not give up... and will never give up.

After four years, at age 10, he started communicating with us verbally.  He learned to say simple words like, "I want to eat" when he is hungry, "I want to sleep" when he is tired and "I want toilet" when he wants to go...

And then January of this year, just three months ago..., Kevin started reading.  Something we did not expect.  Believe it or not, our goal for this school year is just for him to learn the alphabet... Just the simple A, B, C.  It took him a while... but he's now getting there.

THANK YOU to the teachers of Optimal Academy for your patience and always believing on him.  Truly, everything will fall into the right place, at the right time... IN GOD'S TIME!

And today, to all the graduates, TODAY IS YOUR TIME! So congratulations to you all for a job well done.  And to the other students, as Teacher Lani always say, "YOU CAN DO IT"..., "WE CAN DO IT!"

I would like to end my sharing with a short video for you to know and understand Kevin.  Hope you'll like it.  Thank you and good day!"

Camp Benjamin - Day at the Farm

It is a wonderful blessing that we came to know about Optimal Academy, soon after we came back to Manila, last May 2013.  We did not doubt that this will be Kevin's new second home, and that he will have an enriching and fulfilling teenage life with them.

Kevin had plenty of opportunities to join outdoor recreations and educational activities since then. Like the class field trip, for instance. The out-of-town field trip was held at Camp Benjamin in Alfonso, Cavite.  This camp offer teambuilding activities for corporate and school functions.  They also have facilities for overnight events, an in-house coffee shop/café and pool. Instructors joined us throughout the day to assist in the teambuilding activities.

Here are a few pictures of Kevin's class activities for the day tour...

First stop was tomato planting.  The in-house instructors demonstrated the proper measurement and premixing of soils and fertilizers.  The children proceeded to follow the same, assisted by adults, scooped a portion of the soil premix into their pots. This was followed by the tomato plant and finishing it off with a water shower.

Kids get to take home their plants

For the morning snack, the children get to experience a cooking and food preparation challenge ala Master Chef :-)   The staff provided home-grown ingredients and a menu that the team of children and parents can follow.

Cooking and Food Preparation Challenge:
Veggie Burger
Squash Fritters
Pink Lime Cooler (Talbos ng Kamote extract with Kalamansi)

Taking his turn to fry the fritters

Gently turning over the patties

The team's final presentation.
Incidentally, this ended as the morning snack.

The Bamboo Bowling was a hit! We had to transfer in-doors due to the slight drizzle.

More fun games and team events...

Team Frisbee Challenge

Time for the hoops!

Kevin's first experience for a Boodle Lunch

 

 

After our fill of lunch, we prepared to visit the farm...

 

 

 

Harvesting peanuts at the organic farm

Kevin harvested a handful of peanuts

And finally, cooling down to refresh after a day's work and play! Kevin and Dad were the first to take the dip while I satisfy my caffeine fix at the café.

 

It is great to be back home! Kevin is now able to join a school with boys and girls of his age group especially now that he is a teenager already.  We feel so blessed to find this school where Kevin is in an environment where children genuinely care and support one another and the belief that every child can improve even if a little bit more, day by day, is championed.

 

At one point, I look at the children playing... they were all so happy, they cheer for each other and they are cloaked with simplicity and selflessness. I can only say to myself, "this is how truly beautiful people are like."





Plant a Tree Today for a Greener Tomorrow

It has been five months after we settled back home and its time to start updating my blog once again. Last September, we participated in the Tree Planting activity of our company for the first time. This has been an annual event sponsored by the plant in partnership with Haribon Foundation and this is being done several years now. I learned that the plant already contributed at least 16,000 trees from the tree planting activities that benefited municipalities in Laguna and Rizal. This year, the chosen site for the tree planting was at the Barangay Casile in Cabuyao. The descent to the tree planting site was quite an adventure! Due to the monsoon rains several days earlier, the 20-minute hike over muddy earth proved to be a test of stamina and agility. Our kids joined the tree planting and I am proud that they did not have a single complaint during our hike.

We were able to plant close to twenty trees that morning. Although we went home sweaty, a bit muddy and with strained muscles, it was nevertheless a worthwhile experience especially for the kids to be able to take part in an activity that helps save Mother Earth, in our own small way!

Thank You for the Memories, Singapore

After 2 and ½ years of living and working in Singapore, it is time to go back home. I have known for quite a while that my time in Singapore is finite and would come to close. I appreciated having the sense of predictability for once, after a lifetime of unpredictable twist and turns in life. The last few years have been well spent for me and my family. We were able to explore most of what Singapore has to offer and travelled great places in the Southeast Asia.

Last day at Park Infinia

A few colleagues did ask me, after the announcement of my new assignment was made, how I feel about moving back. It's mixed feelings, actually. On one hand, there is elation and anticipation.

This is a historical time for the Philippines. A nation whose time has come. We are at a turning point where all our dreams and hard work for our country is coming to fruition. We are not too far off from earning our rightful place as the next tiger economy for Asia! It is a great time to be back in the Philippines! True, it is still not perfect but we are moving at the right direction. An ounce of optimism coupled with work and perseverance always outweigh negative energies. Progress versus perfection!

I definitely look forward to resuming our tour of the Philippines. After having been into the so-called popular tourist destinations in Southeast Asia, I am convinced there is no reason why our beaches would not emerge superior or at par with the world's best! Palawan, Boracay, Bohol, Cebu, Ilocos, CamSur, Davao, Nasugbu - and many more - the list is endless!

We also miss our home. Being cooped up in a high rise, landless condominium unit is not the same as enjoying breezy nights at our lanai by the garden. My husband and daughter definitely missed gardening and the joys of father-children bonding over washing the car. Things we could not do in Singapore.

We missed authentic Pinoy food too, especially the ihaw-ihaw (grilled) kind! We missed the Chrismassy atmosphere that starts in September, the town fiestas, the Santa Cruzan, the firecrackers every New Year's eve and the fuss that goes along with it. The festivities that shows the fun side of Filipinos, no matter what predicament we face. As they say, It's More Fun in the Philippines! And we have thousands of reasons why.

On the otherhand, there are also people and memories of Singapore that I will miss to be sure and this made my last few months poignant with memories...

- The few close friends who stuck with me and pulled me over to have a life. I couldn't have stayed sane without them!

- Friday night unplanned after work drinks at Harry's and wherever we wound up afterwards!
- My work mentors who never gave up on me even when I was about to give up on myself. I will always remember that the best gift we can give to others is believing that they can.
- The SG-version of the oh-no-we-are-doomed days that thankfully never came.

- I will miss strolling along the Esplanade after a hearty dinner at Makansutra, simply looking over the Singapore river and the city skyline.

- Running my first 5K and 10K, which I hope to be able to continue at home.

- Eating at the hawkers. We've had our share of the posh fancy dining places but the hawkers is as real as it can get.

- Late night coffee with Belle and Lek along Orchard Road while seating along the sidewalk. Afternoon tea breaks at Wang's and the auntie who knew us so well already.
- Rummaging goodies whenever there is something on sale.  In SG, I only buy stuff when they are finally on sale! And ogling at the designer boutiques and conjure excuses why I should pull myself away ASAP.
- Being able to walk home very late at night and knowing you are safe.
- Travelling from SG to most part of the region is a breeze.
- Watching plays at the MBS Theater. Note to self: watch more plays in the Philippines.
- Walking to work! I now have to endure the slow moving traffic at the south.
- Walking to the nearby mall at the drop of hat, for some after dinner dessert or whenever I fancy buying a new book.
- No brown outs, no typhoons, no flooding. No worrying about whether we will have running water when the electricity goes out!

Most of all, Singapore will always have a special place in our hearts.

This is where Kevin grew leaps and bounds in his special education through the help of his teachers/therapists at the ABC Learning Center. In Singapore, we never felt that Kevin was looked down upon by people; he was always treated with understanding and respect despite being especially different.

I am convinced that Kevin was part of the reason why fate brought us here.

And that purpose has been served. He will be thirteen soon and as destiny has laid it down, his new needs are best met at our home country. Now it is time to move on.

Because as the tired old cliche goes... there is still no place like home.



Whenever I walk to work every morning, I glance up to these towers while I sing to myself.

 

Kevin's farewell day at ABC Learning Center



Kyla's farewell speech on her last day at school.
She even asked me to create a video of picture slide show showing
her memories of Singapore, CIS and Asia.



Farewell Dinner hosted by friends
They saved my sanity in the last few years!



... I call this our goodbye-for-now dinner.

Farewell dinner with the PS team

Ladies of FC. Will be missing you!

 

Toy Story

There was no mega toystore in my childhood days. No Toys R Us or SM Storyland. Toy sections that were part the so-called department stores and the sprouting malls of the early 80s.  My mom worked as a section head in a department store and I grew up a constant little figure skipping around and about in that world.  We had our fair share of toys, the modestly priced ones. Of course, the pricey and more funkier, bigger toys would always catch one's attention and desires but they are way too expensive.

I would stare at those toys for hours, it's all one can do. And tell myself, when I grow up and I can afford it, I'll buy those toys...

My kids grew up surrounded by mega toystores. Countless of them.  Countless of toys to choose from.  From the modestly priced plastic toys to the pricey and more funkier, bigger life-like toys. 

The difference is that many years after, somehow we can now afford to buy them for our two children. The irony was that our daughter is not that much into toys. She prefer arts and outdoor pursuits.  She made indoor kites for her brother and paper boats with our names on it. She made me a pen holder from a used milk carton for Mother's day.  She would rather swim, run, bike or play at the monkey bars.

And of course, there was Kevin. I still go to the boys' section of the toy store today. Sometimes the two of us go together. I'd stare at the toys. For many minutes.   My eyes would scan the entire expanse, counter after counter of the toy store.  Wondering.  Figuring out... what he may like. 

Most of the time, he ignores them completely. It's not that he doesn't "like" them. He just doesn't see it the way we do.  The only toy he would be eager to have is the basketball.  He has an Eeyore stuff toy that accompanies him to sleep. The rest of his childhood toys are still with him today.

So I would just helplessly stand in front of the toys.  I still do.

Lost in thoughts.  That whereas we can buy any expensive toy now, it is not what Kevin wants. He is just looking for something far more simpler.  He doesn't need and want all those expensive toys.  If you think about it, love and understanding, compassion and inclusion, is enough for him.





The Sun Always Rises (Kevin's 12th Birthday Tribute)

"Clouds come floating into (our) life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." - Rabindranath Tagore

In a few days, Kevin will be celebrating his 12th birthday. We planned for a short family vacation, like we always do for the last few years, in time for his birthday, often somewhere with a nice beach because Kevin and his sister love swimming. This year though we deviated from this routine and opted to do the much-deferred trip to Hong Kong Disneyland. My sister and nephew will meet us in HK and spend Kevin’s birthday in Disneyland. At twelve -- technically still a tween and a year separating him from teens. But Disneyland for me is symbolic of the child in him that I know will always be there. I was able to plan this ahead this time around before things get pretty busy for fiscal end.

When I started writing the draft for this post, I still have a few weeks to complete his birthday gift list – one gift from each of us – that he will open on his birthday. Kevin appreciates receiving and opening his gifts now that he is older, I’d catch him sporting a smile as his eyes light up when he sees his gifts. A few days ago, while enjoying an after-dinner-lazy-moment at the living room and I asked him, “who will have a birthday soon?” He smiled and said “me!” in his now deep voice.

Time went by so fast.

I still need to come to terms that Kevin is now a young man and no longer a little boy. He is now (much) taller, bigger and heavier than me. Whereas I used to lift him and swing him around, I couldn’t do it anymore without risk of breaking my back. We buy his shirts and pants in the grown-ups' section now. The tweens and teens section in Singapore are too small for his frame. His bathroom include his own set of deodorant, hair gel, cologne and a mild toner (yes, toner!) – we got him to use one after he started getting a few zits and whiteheads – which thankfully, he does not scratch away.

He has gotten used to running his daily personal self care routine like clockwork-- fixing his bed after waking up, choosing and preparing his clothes for school, going though daily grooming including applying his deodorant and prepping himself. These include putting his own watch, belt, cap (when he feels like it), socks and shoes and taking out his backpack. I learned that he too has his favorite shirts and pajama set.
After school hours, he follows a schedule that includes ‘study time’ and his other drills. We keep part of the hours in the afternoon to be his “free time”. Between five to six o’clock, he will get his basketball and prepare to play downstairs. We used to have cue cards, the one that Kyla arranges for him every night in preparation for the next day. But since he has gotten comfortable running his routine, we don’t need the cue cards anymore. In a way, it was one of his early successes into moving slowly to daily independence. He is now starting to learn to clean and tidy up his own room and help more into other chores at home. This is not unique for him because we ask Kyla to do the same.

Kevin now holds the role of being our prayer leader. Before meals and before going to bed, he is the one to initiate to start praying. He will recite the Sign of the Cross while Kyla will be the one to lead the rest of the prayer. Then he will close the prayer.

Kevin started asserting his privacy as well. There are times when he would just want to stay in his bedroom and enjoy his time alone. When we’d check, he’ll be sitting by the long bench facing the window and he would be looking down at the busy sight. The bedrooms in our unit overlook the pool, the vast track of garden and play area. There will always be people swimming at the pool, children playing soccer or riding a bike, or just hovering at the Koi pond. I guess that there were times when he probably wanted to be a part of that busy state of affairs. We allow him to have his daily play time if the weather is not too hot and if he is done with his daily tasks. The people in our condo-community knew him by now and they like him. Kevin likes looking at the babies. There was a boy little over one-year old who gives him the 'high five' when he see Kevin. There was also a dog who liked playing with Kevin and his basketball.

As I realized the new goings-on in his life, I could not help but marvel and be thoughtfully poignant at the same time. My little boy is now a young man. And whether we like it not, we had to start backing off and let him run his show, seek for opportunities for him to be a part of the bigger pie of life.   And we have to do it in a way that allows him to breathe and not stifle him, while at the same time still be there to shadow and guide him.   I am thankful that his Yaya Jhane who has been with us since Kevin was 6, continue to be there for him during those hours and days when I can't.  I pray that she can still be with us for more years.

In what seemed now like eons ago, when he was about six years old, I remember sitting in the office of the Developmental Pediatrician over an excruciating conversation about Kevin’s progress.  We were told that the chances of Kevin being able to speak and able to join regular school would be quite slim. That we should probably consider reducing the therapy and SPED (special education) sessions that he attended then and save the money instead (since the therapies and SPED counts a fortune, a reason why it took us longer to be able to afford building our own house). I probably cried an ocean in that space of time.  One of those moments when you try to contain emotions but just can't.  This was one conversation that I always try to push back to the deepest recesses of my memory.

I respect that as a professional, the doctor has a responsibility to tell us the reality of the situation, no matter how painful it is. The logical side of me can understand that. But the maternal, emotional side of me wanted to be angry at how the option seemed to slam all doors and windows shut.   Hope cannot be reduced to pesos and cents.  All that histrionics. And we moved on and continued to provide our son, to the best that we can, all the support we can give – educational, moral and spiritual support, the love and loyalty that only a family can give.  We pushed on, hoped, prayed, worked for better days.  We are also thankful for the angels around us, who have given Kevin their selfless show of support in many ways that made his life richer. They have given us hope to cling on to, during the days when the skies look overcast.

A fellow parent-writer aptly puts it and I quote her: “When the clouds are forever hiding the sun, you learn to squint your eyes and look hard for the silver lining. And true enough, by God’s mercy, they are always there.” (by Pinky Cuaycong in her article Silver Linings, featured in the blog of the Autism Society of the Philippines)

That day seemed light years by now. Kevin is now a young man and everyone who knew him loved him. They are his blessings as he is a blessing for us. His challenges, our challenges – are still herculean and just as daunting as it were years ago but love, faith and hope – God’s greatest gifts – make us stronger.  And I believe it made Kevin stronger too.

When I look at Kevin, I still and probably will always see, the little baby I used to cradle in my arms. Every night before I tuck him to bed, I always remind him of our promise. That we will be there for him for as long as it takes. For whatever it takes. Now matter how dark and cold the night could be, the sun always rises.

Happy Birthday dear Kevin!
We love you and we thank the Lord for each that is given to us that we are together.
You are a blessing to all of us!

Kevin perched on top of his favorite spot at the playground

Perfect

April 2 is the World Autism Awareness Day. This is the 3rd year in a row that I wrote a blog in honor of this special week.

I saw this picture in the Austism Society of the Philippines Facebook page and I couldn't help but be moved. It is one of the most beautiful picture I've ever seen.

Kevin knows Jesus. He knows he must pray to Him everynight before he falls asleep. If I am still working and he wants to go to sleep, he will call our attention so that we can pray with him. In his room, a framed cross-stitched portrait of Jesus and Mama Mary overlooks his bed.

I sometimes imagine Kevin, pensively sitting by his favorite nook overlooking the window, smiling and content... and I know in those moments, he is not alone.

The world believes that these children are wrapped up in their so-called "own little world," disconnected to the rest of their environment with their minds enveloped by nothingness.

I know in my heart, he is not alone in his thoughts. He is never alone. Just like the picture, I know that Jesus is always there  beside Kevin, looking over him with His loving eyes. His arms protecting our child and assuring him that they will be together in eternity. 

And this picture was exactly how my mind saw it. It was perfect.

You and I - A Collection of Candid Moments

I'll be another year older a few hours from now. I'd like to dedicate this blog to the three people in this world who are dearest to me. My family. Nothing else in this world defines me except my family. I have been a better person because of their unconditional love. As I celebrate another year, I am thankful to the Lord that we are together and for the memories in between here to eternity.

I'm always on the watch for those split second, candid moments caught on cam that tell stories that are larger than life... Accentuated by one of my favorite old song "You and I."


This was the 5-yr old Kevin and Kyla was 2.5 years old. It was company family day celebration in Subic Bay. This is the first picture I had of the two of them looking out to the sea. Apparently, the first among many others.

"You and I will travel far together...we'll pursue our little star together."



Subic Bay, Zambales



The first thing that they check out when we are on an outing is the sea (or the ocean).

"We'll be happy as we are together."

Caylabne Bay Resort, Cavite

Like me, they can stand here for hours and just stare at the sea, the sky and appreciate nature.

"You and I are going on forever."



Punta Fuego, Batangas

Our vacations, by default, has to be somewhere with a beach. Kevin and Kyla looks forward to going to the beach.

"Until the time we have is gone forever."

Panglao Island, Bohol

And has become their unique bonding ritual to stare at the overlooking sea.

"Watch the evening drawing on together...Growing older, growing closer."

Sentosa Island, Singapore



Or anything with water, for that matter.

"Making memories that light the sky..."

Resorts World Sentosa, Singapore

They also love these little strolls. Hand in hand with Daddy or Mommy.

"That only time can make..."

Punta Fuego, walking towards our cottage

And wishing time would slow down.

" That only love can make..."



Coral Beach of Punta Fuego


Don't grow up too soon, my dear little ones.

"That only we can make..."

Weathered Rocks at Punta Fuego.
We probably had hundreds of pictures from this vacation.

And even if you do, in my eyes... you will always be Mommy's dear babies.

"...You and I."

Home Sweet Home at Sta. Rosa, Laguna

Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley

I first came across Emily Perl Kingsley's famous article in the Chicken Soup of the Soul -- Children with Special Needs edition. This was the opening essay. It brought me to tears the first time I read it. And despite having read  it for probably the hundredth time, it still bring tears to my eyes. I can openly talk about our son Kevin, the challenges he went through, the triumphs he has made, the inevitable future. But not without having tears well up my eyes, no matter what.

Because Emily Perl Kingsley is right. There is a raw pain, hidden very much deep within that will never, ever, ever go away. But it also brought special meaning - a reason for being, in our lives. And in the grand scheme of things, the wisdom behind the reason is more important than the pain.


Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

About the Author
Emily Perl Kingsley is a writer who joined the Sesame Street team in 1970 and has been writing for the show ever since. Her son Jason Kingsley was born with Down Syndrome in 1974. At the time of his birth, it was commonly believed that children with Down Syndrome could never learn to walk or talk. Kingsley's work as a writer and activist for children with special needs helped change this perception. Her experiences with Jason inspired her to include people with disabilities into the Sesame Street cast, including an actress who uses a wheelchair, Tarah Schaeffer, and even Jason himself. Jason's story was the topic of an hour-long NBC television special in 1977, titled "This Is My Son," and with co-author Mitchell Levitz, Jason wrote the book "Count Us In: Growing Up With Down Syndrome."

Kevin's Birthday Weekend

Last year, I made a checklist of "places to visit." To celebrate Kevin's Birthday this year, it was a toss between Bintan or Star Cruise Virgo. We thought that Bintan, given its proximity to Singapore is a great weekend getaway.

Bintan Island, Indonesia is located southeast of Singapore is a convenient 55-minute Ferry ride from Tanah Merah Ferry terminal.  There are networks of resorts along the Bintan Island coastline and we chosed to stay at Angsana Resort. They also have a sister resort: Banyan Tree located just beside Angsana but I thought it caters more to couples looking for a serene getaway paradise. Angsana Resort is more family oriented. It is also ideal for corporate events because they have plenty of hotel rooms.

 Here are snippets from our vacation...

We took the Emerald Class on our way to Bintan. Actually I booked late all I got were early morning seats at Emerald class. The upside is you can stay at the lounge with free drinks and wi-fi.

Upon arrival at the Bintan Ferry Terminal, we were escorted to the reception lounge of Angsana Resort while waiting for the car that will take us to the resort. Angsana/Banyan has the coziest lounge. Loved the interior design.

 We stayed at a 2 bedroom suite with a living and dining room. We were so amused that it seemed bigger than our condo in SG.

We loved the living room sofa which also doubles as a day bed. Kevin takes his afternoon nap in this day bed. Even their bathroom have great amenities that you can use for the duration of your stay.

This is the living room and the sofa / day bed.

It also has a terrace and sundeck that leads to the beachfront. There was a jacuzzi too but we never got to use it.

Birthday greetings welcomed Kevin! Very thoughtful of the staff!

 Kevin was also treated with a complimentary birthday cake and a champagne for us! It was delivered to our room during our first night at the resort.

Kyla and I decided to explore the resort...

View of Spacious Lotus Cafe

I fondly call this the Boat-Henge



While waiting for sundown, the kids stayed over at the Kids Club where kids can do art stuff, crafts and play indoor games.

With Ms Maria of the Kids Club taken before we left Angsana

We hit the beach and the pool soon after Mr. Sun was out :-)

Despite the heat, we decided to try the Pantai Grill for a seaside lunch with an awesome view of South China Sea. They had a BBQ Buffet Feast in the same area every Friday nights and the food is really good! Even the kids loved coming back for servings. A group of local musicians serenade the diners.

Pantai Grill by day.
By Friday night, this is transformed into BBQ feast with awesome buffet fare.

We also hopped by to Banyan Tree's Treetop Restaurant. It was interesting because you need a buggy ride within Banyan Tree. Treetops Cafe is very Asian and classy. Kevin loved his dinner of Salmon while Kyla is loyal to her pasta.

The relaxing ambience of Treetop makes a great backdrop.

I loooved the candle holder centerpiece!

This was our last breakfast before hitting home. We also had a last tour around the resort before taking off. The friendly staff bade us all goodbye and we felt at home in this place. They gave us souvenir photo card and a memento for Kyla from the Angsana Gallery!



The staff of Lotus Cafe were always very accomodating whenever we ask for steamed plain rice for Kevin.
Their buffet serves fried rice and Kevin looks for plain rice.



Trek to The Boulders at the Coastline





We truly appreciate the very friendly staff of Angsana resort. We were always greeted by everyone with a welcome smile and you will notice this throughout the entire resort.

Thank you Angsana Resort Bintan for fond memories !