Of Clouds and Silver Linings

Foreword: This is the transcript of the speech given on the occasion of Optimal Academy's 2017 Commencement and Completion Exercises where our son Kevin was conferred as a graduate.

Speaking in public in not always easy, more so when it is about a topic that is so close to my heart and triggers memories that is sure to make me emotional.  In the process of writing the speech, I edited and rewrote it several times. I had to remind myself that this is not about me.  

This is in honor of a son who, every single day, had to struggle fitting in into a world that doesn't make sense to him. This is the story of his journey and the Divinely Orchestrated coincidences that steered us to paths we have taken as a family.

*****

Good afternoon to all! It is an honor to share with you the highlights of Kevin's journey leading to this blessed day.  

Let me tell you a bit about myself and our family.  I am a Chemical engineer and I work as the Supply Chain/Operations Manager in a multinational corporation.  My children grew up with my workplace as a constant, significant part of their lives.  In fact, the people I work with know Kevin and Kyla very well.   But, end of the day I am simply “Mommy Armie” to Kevin and Kyla, and the better half of whom all of you know so well as Daddy Alvin.   

Kyla is our younger daughter and she grew up taking over the role of an elder sister for Kevin.  You will see her in Optimal Academy whenever she doesn’t have classes and she likes helping around.  She promised that she will continue to take care of Kevin when her father and I grow old, and while we cannot beholden her to that promise, I of course silently pray that she will continue to be the loving sister for Kevin, wherever life takes her.

Today is a very meaningful day for Kevin.   This day is the culmination of those colorful, sometimes difficult but surprisingly wonderful journeys that he had to take in his life.

11 years ago, it was Kyla’s moving up day in toddler school.  When the preparatory class entered for the graduation march, I stood there watching and I couldn’t hold back the tears.  I kept thinking that our son, Kevin, should have been there with them and we didn’t know if the time will ever come for him to march in his own graduation. 

Kevin attended Early Intervention program for nearly 3 years, and one day we were told by the Developmental Pediatrician that Kevin’s chance of being able to talk and join regular school will be very slim-- that we should consider just having him stay at home and use picture exchange communication system (PECS), and instead save the huge expenses for speech therapies and SPED.  We still followed the doctor and adopted PECS for Kevin.  But we also continued with the therapies even though it was evident that Kevin did not like it.  More importantly, it forced us to evaluate what does he need, what is most impactful to his development and where do you find that help?

The blessings came and our questions were answered.   Kevin was accepted into Kyla’s pre-school class three times weekly for socialization, music, art and PE class.  He was the oldest and tallest kid there.  Kyla’s classmates adore him, took care of him and they all call him Kuya Kevin too.  This created a world of difference to Kevin -- he enjoyed going to school, he gladly performed in the school programs, which he used to not like.  He learned from the school kids by imitating proper social behaviors.

In 2010, Kevin marched for his first graduation day in pre-school.  Everyone applauded for him when he went on stage to receive his award.  They all knew, he had come a long way.  Indeed, when a door closes, a window opens.  You have to also trust what your child really, truly needs.  Kevin taught us that being in a community where he is loved, accepted and where he can be happy is a powerful life-changer.

While these were all happening for Kevin, my husband and I had to make a very important decision.  My husband Alvin left his career at San Miguel Corporation and dedicated his time to be with Kevin.  It was a tough call but in the end, we both understood that it was over and beyond our individual aspirations in life.  I cannot forget what he told me, he said, “I can live with letting go of a career and what-might-have-been, but I cannot live with not doing everything that I can to help Kevin.”

Through Alvin, we learned to understand Kevin better- like why he acts or responds a certain way.  Alvin followed through at home the programs from school.   Kevin’s focus and attention span improved!   Alvin continued to provide significant inputs in shaping up Kevin’s learning program over the years.

Looking back, I strongly believe that the events in our life were part of divinely orchestrated coincidences.  In late 2010, our family moved to Singapore because of my job.  By that time, Kevin was more prepared to live outside of the Philippines because of the improvements in his adaptation.  Kevin took up Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) and after exactly seven days, one morning Kevin surprised us because he was able to finally communicate with us verbally!  Since then, he began to express his needs and say simple phrases… “I want to eat”, “I want to sleep”, “I want toilet”.  This validated my belief that our relocation to Singapore happened for a special reason.  

We came back to Philippines in 2013.  Kevin was already in his teens and it felt like starting all over again.  One afternoon, we visited Teacher Weng of Trails Center.  While waiting for her, I saw this yellow brochure of a SPED school.  Alvin and I thought that this seem to match what Kevin needed.  So we went there—to Optimal Academy (author's note: this is Kevin's current DepEd accredited school for special education).   Initially we were hoping that he will be able to say the ABCs but after a few months, Kevin learned to read, learned to use the laptop and copy-type and he expanded his vocabulary.  The rest as they say is history.

Now that Kevin had become a young man, we are again, in a new learning curve.  We have learned to see his individuality, understand his changing moods.  We learned when to impose authority and when to back off and just let him be. 

Kevin gave us the inspiration to never give up and that in this world, our love and acceptance is all that mattered.  We are grateful to the Lord who gave us the strength to push on, to always look forward to better days.  For giving us Kevin and Kyla, who made us better persons.

We are also thankful for the Angels around us- the teachers and educators, who have selflessly given Kevin their patience and encouragement in ways that made his life richer and meaningful.   They too, have given us hope to cling on to, during the days when the skies look overcast.

To end, I would like to share my favorite quote from a fellow parent-writer (Pinky Cuaycong) : “When the clouds are forever hiding the sun, you learn to squint your eyes and look hard for the silver lining.  And true enough, by God’s mercy, they are always there.”

From the bottom of my heart… congratulations to all of you, dear students and graduates --  PJ, Stefi and Kevin.  Congratulations to my fellow parents for reaching this wonderful milestone!   May God continue to bless us all!

Good day and thank you for listening!

The honor of giving Kevin his graduation medal belongs to his Dad.
This is his milestone too, in many ways.

Sunny Days (Alvin's Inspirational Speech from the 2014 Commencement Exercise of Optimal Academy)

After what seemed to be a long while, Kevin was blessed to have been a part of Special Education once more after we came back to Manila last year.  That we landed with Optimal Academy was not a mere happenstance, if I look back.  I was in a meeting with Kevin's speech therapist in another center when I saw the school's flyer propped at the desk. I took one and thought that this is what Kevin needed. We have been looking for a new school for him somewhere within south. Alvin and I decided to visit their school that week. And rest, is history.

In Optimal Academy's Commencement Exercise and Recognition Day for undergraduates, my husband Alvin had the privilege of giving an inspirational talk about a father and son's journey through life's challenges.  Known as "Daddy Alvin" at school, he is a mainstay at Optimal Academy.  All the students know him and in a way, he is sort of a father figure for them as well alongside Sir John (school President), especially for the teenage boys.

Alvin's speech brought tears to my eyes, remembering the poignant days when we were starting out as young parents for Kevin and Kyla.  But it also gave me an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness to the Lord, for giving me a better half who is truly our hero in every sense of the word.  

This is the transcript of his speech....

"Good afternoon to all!

Some of you already know me because I always go to Optimal Academy with my son Kevin.  Today, let me introduce myself a little bit more.

I am a Chemical Engineer by profession, and worked for years in San Miguel Corporation until Kevin was diagnosed with ASD with Apraxia when was nearly 3 years old.  My wife Armie, who is also a Chemical Engineer, is the one literally supporting our family right now.  So I would like to thank her for doing the job that I am supposed to do.  She once told me, that we all have roles in life... And this is my role.

Ten years ago, my wife and I decided that one of us should focus on attending to Kevin full-time, so that we can understand his needs better and help him in the process.  At first, it wasn't easy for me to accept the role that I am doing.  I felt ashamed of myself when some of my peers would ask me where I am working.  I am afraid that some of them will not understand me, especially those who don't know Kevin and his challenges.  Well it doesn't really matter, as long as I am getting the love and respect from my wife and my kids, it's fine with me.

Then, I learned about Stock Market Online.  That changed everything.  It's not much, but enough to bring back my self confidence and improve my skills.  So every day, Kevin and I go to Optimal Academy for him to study,  and for me to work (on my stocks) and assist him.  With God's help, we found the best set up for the two us.

Kevin has a sister, her name is Kyla.  Everyday, after coming from school, the first thing that Kyla would do is check Kevin's diary.  She also likes teaching Kevin at home.  Whenever she has no class, she always come with us in Optimal Academy to help Kevin and the other students too. One day she told us that she would like to be a teacher for special children and that she will open her own school someday.

Among the parents here, I would say I am lucky, to have the opportunity to see these children every day.  So please allow me share to you some of my observations in the school.

First, they are learning because they are happy.  Unlike most of us, we become happy only if we get the things we want in life.  But for these students, happiness comes first.  They go to school every day excited, because they know that they will have fun.  They like going to school, and they love the people in Optimal Academy.  I challenge you..., visit Optimal Academy and count the people that will greet you.  Some students will even hug you!  And then, go to other schools and see if you'll get the same. The feeling of being welcomed and accepted makes them ready to listen and learn.  So, make them happy and they will learn.  I remember the time when I taught Kevin how to use chopsticks.  He learned it in just one day simply because he likes to eat and he was happy.

The second point that I would like to share is, not every day is a Sunny Day... But I am sure, Sunny Days will always come.  There will be days with crying and resistance... and there will be days, they will surprise you on how fast they learn.

When Kevin was six years old, his Developmental Pediatrician told us that Kevin will never talk... that we can already stop his Speech therapy, and start teaching him PECS (Picture-Exchange Communication System).  It was hard to accept, but we followed the doctor's recommendation.  We introduced PECS to him.  However, we did not stop his Speech therapy.  In short, we did not give up... and will never give up.

After four years, at age 10, he started communicating with us verbally.  He learned to say simple words like, "I want to eat" when he is hungry, "I want to sleep" when he is tired and "I want toilet" when he wants to go...

And then January of this year, just three months ago..., Kevin started reading.  Something we did not expect.  Believe it or not, our goal for this school year is just for him to learn the alphabet... Just the simple A, B, C.  It took him a while... but he's now getting there.

THANK YOU to the teachers of Optimal Academy for your patience and always believing on him.  Truly, everything will fall into the right place, at the right time... IN GOD'S TIME!

And today, to all the graduates, TODAY IS YOUR TIME! So congratulations to you all for a job well done.  And to the other students, as Teacher Lani always say, "YOU CAN DO IT"..., "WE CAN DO IT!"

I would like to end my sharing with a short video for you to know and understand Kevin.  Hope you'll like it.  Thank you and good day!"

Four Years of Metamorphosis

January 2013 marks the 4th year anniversary of my blog.

It started out as an extension of my childhood diary days and the habit of putting things into writing. When I ventured into my first article in my blogsite, all I wanted is to have an online repository for my essays and musings. I have my arsenal of poems too but I decided not to put them into the blogsite. Metamorphosis was the title of my column in the UST Thomasian Engineer Journal. I decided to stick with this because of its symbolism.

My first articles were about the most important people in my life – my family. Then I started sharing a few articles to few close friends and friends-slash-colleagues who knew our family. They were my first few readers.

My stories were mostly about my loved ones.

A friend  included a link of my blog into her own blogsite and it created new readers from time to time. Facebook paved the way for much broader sharing and readership esp for friends outside the country and outside of my work circle.

But really, it is and still is, just all about sharing my thoughts no more than what I used to do as a child with my old notebooks. I also obtained inspiration from two blog sites that I follow and this challenged the creative side of writing from time to time.

In 2013, I’d like to expand my blog articles to do a lot more advocacy for the children with special needs and for my home country. I only had a few book reviews so far. To do this for every book I've read will probably require a second blog site so I kept it to few meaningful ones.

 This was taken in Punta Fuego, Batanggas.
Scenes like this is pretty much like forever in a day.

Blogging is like a marriage. Fairly easy to get into one but keeping the fire (of enthusiasm and creativity) burning takes genuine love and commitment to make it last.

I'd like to think that the blog is an extension of my true self, the part of my psyche which I guess, not a lot of people see. I grew up a loner and I guess deep down I still am.  But I found my voice, found a channel for my true self to break free through my writing.

Thank you so much, friends and readers, for sharing the last three years of Metamorphosis with me!

Run for a Reason (Kyla's Singapore Marathon Experience)

We started getting Kyla into running this year. She closed the year with three running events under her cap with no less than the prestigous Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2012 Kids' Dash (the 7-9 yo category) at the Marina Bay!  There were more than 3,500 children who signed up for the Kids event and it was such a joy to see them full of energy and enthusiasm for the run!  All finishers get a medal so that is an added boost, something they can be proud of. This year's theme was Run for a Reason and the proceeds will benefit charitable foundations in the country.

Kyla has enjoyed running so much and she continued to look forward to the Terry Fox Charity Run this January which will be for the benefit of the Singapore Cancer Society.

Here are a few good reasons to encourage children into running:

1. Good for the Health.  At proper training and moderation, running stimulates cardio-vascular system and increases one's stamina.  The more you run, you will realize that you will be able to slowly but surely outpace yourself as you do this repetitively. Getting kids to run at early age puts them ahead with respect to getting this discipline imbibed in them too.

2. Fight the Digital Couch Potato Syndrome.  I always say we would rather have Kyla spend time in more meaningful recreation like arts and sports than waste time with video games (Ipad games, PSP included)  and even the so-called 'virtual sports'. Handheld games are either solitary activities, or mainly virtual interactions (if you do online games).  Whereas sports facilitate socialization as well (unless you are into solo swimming).  Even while Kyla was running the last 50m or so, she had time to slow down and chat with a classmate who was running in the Kids dash as well! A true-blue chatterbox!

3. Running is a Confidence Booster.  At their age, running is not yet about breaking records but more into embracing the freedom of running against the wind and finishing the course.  The more race they finish, their confidence will surely be boosted and would encourage them to go further and run more. Kyla's first race was a 5KM event.  She ran with my friends from work who were true runners, so she had to step up.  She felt very proud that she finished waaaay ahead of us and this started her quest to continue running.

4. Serendipities.  They may not realize it at once, but running also teaches discipline; perserverance;  pushing the limits; recognizing limitations and rising above it.  In the Standard Chartered race, I was nicely positioned near the flag off line (well, hanging over the Fullerton bridge in a not-so prim-and-proper position) and saw the kids in action moments after the horn sounded off to signal the start of the race.  In the 10-13 yo division, two boys were late for the flag off and had to push their way around the next batch of runners already positioned at the starting line.  With their batch already 100m ahead, they still ran to catch up and were cheered by the crowd. I cheered for them too.  Kyla acquired colds the night before the race.  We knew it would somehow affect breathing but will be manageable so we advised her to do proper inhale/exhale while running.  So she rested very early and told me that she will keep her lozenges handy.  I also quizzed her if she is feeling okay to run. She was positive. 

She made it!

The Race Pack for the SCSM 2012 Kids Dash

Proudly showing off her Finishers' Medal with Kuya Kevin

Year Older

This is a very very very late blog post.

I have forgotten to upload my birthday blog early this year. That day was a literal chaos.  One of our production plant had a fire incident the night before and so the day started amidst a flurry of emergency meetings and conference calls left and right.  We were huddled the entire day in what we called the situation room.  And uncannily, three of us who were meeting and talking together the whole day, were wearing black! 

I am not really big on (my) birthdays. Often, it is a quiet family celebration over dinner. I never needed a flashy, fancy celebration.  Just being alive and happy, surrounded by few but important people in my life, is enough to be thankful for and I keep it simple as that.

I am also grateful for friends at work who made it extra special and ensured that I will not be spending my birthday boxed up in the "situation room" over soda and takeaway sandwich (my go-to meal if I had to work over lunch).  Or worse, missing your lunch during your birthday. Which happened to me three (or four) birthdays ago!  Not by choice.

So they cajoled me into having a Japanese lunch.

The SNO Team, the PS lunch regulars

But being a certified sweet tooth, I did enjoy so much the Carrot Cake with cream cheese frosting.  It's a neck to neck favorite alongside a mean Chocolate Cake. 

My Birthday Carrot Cake

I left a bit later than usual that day, still huffing and puffing when I arrived home for the family birthday dinner, with all my favorite dishes cooked up by my better half, as requested!

And somewhere in the back of my mind, hoping that the next birthday would be a more 'regular' day than it has been.

Kyla's First Holy Communion

It was a special day for our daughter Kyla.   It was the day she will be receiving her First Holy Communion.  I'd say special and meaningful. Unlike me who grew up and attended an all girls Catholic school where First Holy Communion is part of the second graders Christian living or  religious education, from where we live, the First Holy Communion is a privilege to be earned and not an automatic bestowal that comes with a certain age.

Kyla attends a non-sectorial, non-religous affiliated international school.  In this setting, raising morally upright, God-loving children lies fully in the parents' responsibility.  And this is not just a matter of providing religous education or catechism, but at the end of the day, walking the talk and giving your children an exemplary model of what it means to know and love God.

Although we have been attending Sunday mass, we learned that to prepare for First Holy Communion, children are required to attend catechism every Sunday to help them prepare for receiving the Sacrament of Contrition and Holy Communion. 

We have come to meet the catechists in the Our Lady of Lourdes Church who leads the Sunday catechism class for children, mostly volunteers that include the elderly ladies who dedicate significant time of their life in the service of the church and yound men and women who teach catechism to children.

Children are allowed to receive First Holy Communion only when they are ready and demonstrate maturity in understanding what it truly meant to receive Christ and participate fully in the Sunday mass.  Incidentally, there is only one window every year for First Holy Communicants to receive this sacrament.

We are thankful that after only a few months of catechism class, Kyla was ready for First Holy Communion. She loved her catechism sessions so much that she continued to attend the Sunday classes before hearing the Sunday mass at church.

Seeing our little girl dressed in girly white dress and veil also poignantly remind us that she is, after all, no longer a baby but growing into a graceful, elegant young lady soon.   And we pray that she grow up continuing to have the love of Christ in her heart.   In the end, it is all that truly matters in this life.

13 and 19

For the past thirteen years of married bliss and nineteen years of being together, while there are so many things to be said and stories made and yet to come... The most important is that we thank the Lord for granting us the life we have always prayed for. And more.

Happy Wedding Anniversary!

Dare to Dream - Our First 5K Run

We made it!!!

Today we ran our first ever 5K Race. It is definitely a first for me which officially ticks off one item from my 2012 To Do List :-)  Yay!

It is also the first time that we participated as a family in any fun run. Dare to Dream is a corporate event, part of the P&G Olympics Games Day. P&G is a worldwide partner and sponsor of the 2012 London Olympics.

We made it!!!

The Dare to Dream Run celebrates the dream of every athlete -- the dream of making it to the Olympics. For the 5K race, every runner's bib has a declaration of their dream. Our family's dream is to be able to make a difference and touch more lives of Special Children!  It really isn't just a dream but an aspiration that we hope to make our lives worthy of.  If there is one good excuse for breaking my lifelong hate relationship with the sun, this is it. It comes for a great cause.

Our 5K Run Race Bib - Go for the Dream!

Kyla being interviewed by one of the organizers/event hosts while
she was hanging around at the Soccer booth before she makes the trial kick. Showbiz!

2 KM more to go!!! Kyla was way ahead of us!
Clearly she did not inherit my klutzy sports gene!

With Belle and Leklek before the start of the run

The 5K event was held at the East Coast Park. The sunny weather and the clear blue water of the beachfront was a perfect backdrop for this great event.  We also ran with my uber-althletic friends Belle and Leklek. Kyla ran with them and they finished ahead of us - good job to Kyla babes! Kevin, Alvin and I ran together. Predictably, we had more stops along the way to make the most of photo-ops!

This project was spearheaded by Beyond Borders which is P&G's Live, Learn and Thrive initiative that supports community projects worldwide. The donations from runners from this 5K run will be used to build a pre-school facility in Vietnam. We are also running for the dream of Vu Thi Mai, a kindergarten student in Minh Phuong Vietnam whose dream is to live in a peaceful village with trees and animals.

We headed home, tired and with aching feet, but with huge feeling of fulfillment to have contributed to make the dreams of little children in Vietnam a reality.

And yes, you bet, we will do this again!

Birthdays... Birthdays...

Metamorphosis was not yet in existence when Kevin celebrated his 7th Birthday so this is really a reminiscence of his birthday celebration way back in 2007.

We decided to hold his party at the village clubhouse of our home in Sta. Rosa, Laguna on the exact date of his birthday which fell on a weekend. We never really tapped party planners for these ocassions so it was a joint family effort to plan and prepare for his birthday party. Hosting this at the clubhouse though meant having to coordinate caterers, decorations, sound system, host/entertainment and lootbags altogether. But I enjoy doing these things so we went for it. Much later,  for our daughter's 7th birthday, I had to go with all-in package when it became apparent to me that I will be leaving the country way earlier than her birthday event.

We chosed a Madagascar-Safari theme party although we decided not to have a costume party for the kids and kept it low-key for Kevin. So we made up for it through the decorations. I hired a 3rd party contractor to set up the decorations and balloons including the decorations for the cake station, the balloon tower and table centerpieces.

Picture from home, while preparing for Kevin's party. These were then his favorite things.

We opted for a Madagascar Theme Party.
I had to rely on a 3rd party to set up the balloon decorations.
Most pictures look dark though as we relied only on our dgcams.

 To keep the kids busy, we hired a Caricature artist. Kids (and Moms) can take home portraits of themselves in a superhero or fancy character of their choice. The artist drew a picture of Kevin as the Safari Ranger together with the Madagascar animals. Even my Mom was able to queue for it and she had it framed.

The party host was dressed as safari ranger and later changed into his magician costume. I got a deal where the party host doubled as magician, game master and we he also got to make animal balloon twisties and give a short puppet show. We also had lots of games, Kyla and I enjoyed buying tons of prizes at Market-Market.

Magic shows are always a hit with the kids. Even if they've seen it a hundred times.



Puppet show to keep the youngsters busy after lunch





We had a Pinata and a Pabitin for the kids

We also prepared the lootbags which contain Kevin's favorite goodies and toys. We also printed thank you tags and attached this to each loot bag. My kids love receiving loot bags from parties so we made sure that every kid will be delighted as well. We prepared for 40 lootbags and set of 12 more for the kids at 8+ of age (had to give them something more suitable for tweens).

We enjoyed preparing the lootbags with Kevin's favorite goodies and toys

Tons of games prizes are a must so that every kid gets a chance to win some.



We did not hire a professional photographer to cover the event and relied on our dgcams (and some titas) for the pictures (hence some photos lack lighting). We did miss taking a picture of the buffet station, the goings on at the caricature corner and sorbetero ice cream station.

The venue was a full house and it's a relief that the caterers have extra tables and chairs that were set at the pool area at the last minute so we can have everyone seated comfortably. We were most overwhelmed by friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, neighbors and the sheer number of children who came by!  Kevin who was usually not at ease with large and noisy parties was at his best behavior throughout the event. We are grateful to have them share with us this important day in Kevin's childhood memories!

Happy Birthday Kevin!

Through the Years: Our 12th Wedding Anniversary and 18th Years Together

This day twelve years ago, we began a lifelong commitment and journey.
A journey that actually found its beginnings eighteen years ago.

I cant remember when you weren't there. When I didn't care for anyone but you.

Taken by Robert Leal during the UST ChE General Assembly in 1995



I swear, we've been through everything there is.
Can't imagine anything we missed. Can't imagine anything the two us cant do...


UST ChE North Luzon Field Trip. We dont have a lot of pictures from College.



Through the years, you never let me down. You turned my life around.

The sweetest days I found with you.

Our Wedding Day.
June 26, 1999 at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Shrine Parish, New Manila.
You can tell this is an old picture before the digital age.

Through the years, I've never been afraid. I loved the life we made.

And I'm so glad I stayed right here with you through the years.
 

Punta Fuego, Batanggas, Philippines



Through the years, when everything went wrong, together we were strong.

My surprise Birthday celebration from Alvin

I know that I belonged right here with you. Through the years we never had a doubt.

Back to our Alma Mater in its 400th Year Anniversary
This is where it all began in 1993.

We always worked things out. I learned what life's about.

Our first year in Singapore. Enjoying the sights and sounds of SG.

By loving you, through the years.



18 years (since our college days) and still going strong



I thank God for what Was. Is. And Will Be.

For our life together.
For the special mission we were given for an Angel's earthly life.
For our wonderful gift of all: our children.

Happy 12th Year Wedding Anniversary!
And cheers for 18 years of togetherness!

lsy

One Fine Day

I procrastinated for more than a year to write this specific blog entry, only because it's too emotional for me. I could not write about it without having tears well up in my eyes. Just like now.

But it's high time to share this and I owe it to our special son. 

This blog is in honor of Kevin's upcoming birthday.

The first graduation event we attended was Kyla's graduation from Toddler class. It's more of a moving-up day but they have all these graduation garbs, toga, photo ops, ceremonies and marching-down-the-aisle-thing anyway. When the Preparatory class marched in last, I was overwhelmed with emotion then because I could not help but think that our son should have been a part of it, given his age that time. He should have been there with those kids on their graduation day.

To an outsider, I probably look silly, standing there and fighting off the tears over some preschool graduation. I will admit that while we had come to terms with the probability then that Kevin might not make it past the traditional academic level, there were moments when the could-have-beens come to haunt me. It was that kind of a moment.

And because Kyla will actually have her graduation ceremony year-after-year until she completes Preparatory (yes, there's graduation day for Toddler, Nursery, Kindergarten too - like 4 graduations in 4 years!), it means I will have to deal with the sentiment for the next 3 years.

Fast Forward to 2010

There are mysterious happenstance in this life. Kevin entered Kyla's preschool in 2008 under Special Education program. I learned that his program is also called Social Inclusion. This gave Kevin an opportunity to socialize with school kids and help him 'imitate' the right behaviors (taking turn, listening, lining up, socializing, sharing) in a school setting. He looked like a cute big brother because he was already 8 and he had to go with the pre-schoolers' class. He enjoyed going to school and we know this because otherwise he would have thrown fits going to a place he didnt like. We didnt mind that he was with preschoolers and the other parents didnt mind too. In fact, everybody knew and loved him. Kyla's classmates call him Kuya Kevin too. And they all help look after Kevin.

By end of the school year, Kevin is finally about to have his graduation day, dressed in his burgundy graduation gown along side Kyla graduating from Preparatory. We were all very excited that day.

Everyone helped him prepare for his graduation day. We had a dress rehearsal to ensure that he wont get irritated in the long, heavy gown and so that he will be comfortable with the cap. In the morning of his graduation day, we took him to the venue so that he is familiar and "at home" with the place. They also practised a lot before school year ended but it would be safe to have him see the venue with all the trimmings. We also arrived early so that he has time to get cozy and comfortable. He happily posed along with the other kids for picture taking before the ceremony began.

And so the moment we have been waiting for was at hand. He was in a good mood that day, with Kyla (also in grad gown) constantly fluttering by beside him.



Kevin looked serious throughout the event. He probably knew it was an important day.

We were nervous about the graduation march because we knew Kevin had a thing against the long, heavy flowing gown. It was too warm for him.

And so the time came... Kevin was the last to march in from their level. Kevin walked past looking calm and confident with his gown and graduation cap in place. And for the rest of the program, he was at his best behavior, simply sitting on his place with his fellow graduates and he finished the program without fits! He even participated in all the song numbers.

When he was called to receive his Diploma and Special Award, Kevin stood up from his seat and walked up the stage on his own. Parents were asked meet their child on stage but will have to come from the other end of the stage. I gave him his batch pin and the school head handed his diploma and special award for Visual-Spatial intelligence.  Then he bowed down to the audience.  The parents applauded for him. We all knew he had come a long way. I frozed that moment in my mind.

Yes, it was indeed a most memorable moment.

Kevin received the Visual-Spatial Intelligence Award and everyone applauded when he took a bow.

It was surreal. Again, I had the tears in my eyes but this time, they were tears of happiness.

I thank God for the opportunity given to Kevin. For a space in time, he belonged and was a part of something very special.

 It was a day we will forever cherish and remember.

It was one fine day. Out of many more that I know will come.

Kevin and Kyla with their Graduation gifts

When Wishes Come True

I received the "Daruma Doll" as a gift from friends at work. I have two of them.

These dolls originate from Takasaki, Japan. Also known as a Dharma doll, it is a hollow, round, Japanese doll. These dolls, are typically red and depicting a bearded man (Dharma). Daruma has a design that is rich in symbolism and is regarded more as a talisman of good luck to the Japanese. Daruma dolls are seen as a symbol of perseverance and good luck, making them a popular gift of encouragement.


Darumas are still usually made of papier-mâché, have a round shape, are hollow, and weighted at the bottom in a way that it will always return to an upright position when tilted over. In English, this roly-poly style is called a "tumbler doll," and in Japanese it is called "okiagari." meaning to get up (oki) and arise (agari). This characteristic has come to symbolize the ability to have success, overcome adversity, and recover from misfortune.

The eyes of Daruma are blank when sold. Monte A. Greer, author of Daruma Eyes, described the "oversized symmetrical round blank white eyes" as a means to keep track of goals or big tasks and motivate them to work to the finish. The recipient of the doll fills in one eye upon setting the goal, then the other upon fulfilling it. In this way, every time they see the one-eyed Daruma, they recall the goal.

Way back home in Laguna last year , I actually decided to fill-in one eye of the Daruma doll and silently uttered the "goal" which to me was more of a wish.

My Daruma Doll. One wish granted.

Last March 8, 2011 I was finally able to mark the other eye complete. Of course, it was more than just luck or wishful thinking.... persistence, hard work and consistency was involved. In my heart, i also believed there was an element of Divine Intervention and destiny as well. It was a day our family will never forget for the rest of our lives.

This is indeed THE day.

 

A Reason to Believe

"To everything there is a reason. And a season to every purpose, under Heaven."

And so that was exactly how it was written, in a stationery pad I owned many years ago. They were only words then. But now I know better.

Reasons

Alvin aptly puts it in his facebook post: 

"We have always tried to get Kevin to express his needs and wants without prompting or asking. This morning he woke up very early. He was waiting at the living room and he approached me and said "I want to eat."  It was not too long ago when the Dev Ped told us that Kevin will not be able to talk. We refused and still refuse to believe this. We continued to hope (and pray; and do our part) that in His time Kevin will be able to talk.

Thank you Lord for giving us hope!"

As for me, I could not agree more. These are Little Miracles brought about by a boy who gave much meaning to our lives and from The One Above who sent Kevin.

This happened a few days after Kevin's pre-program assessment for his therapies that are to be continued here in SG. The therapists Ms. Hui Ling taught us the right techniques to help Kevin initiate speech. And it worked!! It has given us much hope that Kevin will continue to learn more and do more.

Kevin already feeling at home with his soon-to-be second home.

I also reflected that it gave us a reason to believe that we were brought into this country for a purpose beyond our understanding.

During challenging days, I asked myself have I really done the right thing for all of us? When faced with such doubt, my husband and I will always look back at that fateful day.

It has given us hope. It has given us a reason to believe.

Thank you Lord!

My Little Big Girl - Kyla's 7th Birthday

Birthday Girl renders a Song Number from "Camp Rock"

When I asked Kyla if she wanted a Birthday Party or a Disneyland Trip for her 7th birthday, she immediately answered without batting an eyelash "Birthday party, so that I can invite my friends!"  I thought it was a good choice because these are childhood memories that she can tuck for a lifetime. Of course, it was only a matter of five minutes when she returned to me and muttered, "sa summer na lang yung Disneyland..." !

True to her love for upbeat music, the theme had to be Camp Rock. We actually picked Hannah Montana theme as first choice but I thought of the poor boys who would likely cringe over a too-girly-theme so Camp Rock is a logical bet. Besides, Kyla and Kevin love Camp Rock and their music so I am sure this is something they will both enjoy. We picked a rock princess costume for Kyla after scouring the mall for hours!

For fun, we also chosed to set up a Kiddie Salon for the girls (and boys too!). Bigshot4Events' photo booth was a hit among the young and old! I'm glad that most kids were game to come in their best rock star/pop star outfits- it was so competitive I had to at least pick 5-6 Best Costume Winners for the girls and boys' category. Even Kuya Kevin gamely agreed to don his pop star outfit with matching color spray do! We are so proud of him and this earned him one of the Best Costume awards too! There were about 40 kids and more than half of her classmates attended the party, which is a testimony of the friends she has made.

Of course a party will not be complete without a Magic show, the Ventriloquist and the usual loads of games for all. Our surprise for Kyla was the AVR presentation of Kyla's Growing Up years which she love! Kyla also gave a suprise number from her favorite song "This is Me" from Camp Rock!

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Our special thanks to our family/relatives, our friends and colleagues, Kyla's classmates past and present, Kyla and Kevin's teachers- who made her birthday an affair to remember!

My gratitude to our partners and suppliers who helped me and Alvin made this a less-stressful event:

Paseo Premiere Hotel for their great party package, BigShots4Events, Set You a Party, Ninang Ninnie for the Themed Cake and Cupcakes, Kyla's 7+1 Well-Wishers: Teacher Edison, Teacher Weng, Ninang Ninnie, Ella, Arwen, Chami and Andree.

In her first seven years, there is nothing more that I can ask for from a daughter-- Kyla grew up to be a brave and strong girl, wise for her years, loving the simple joys of life, intelligent and witty, and unconditional in her love especially to her Kuya Kevin. We love you Kyla!!